IS ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION JUST IN YOUR HEAD?
We live in a culture where, when something isn’t working we call it broken and seek to find a quick fix to an assumed physical problem. We live in a physical world so the problem must have to do with the physical form, right? But we must come to realize that while we live in a material world, it is our thoughts that turn energy into form. We must come to realize that everything, begins in the mind, with one thought, that then turns into two, that then turns into a pattern of consecutive thoughts. Then these thoughts manifest within the body.
It is only too often that I hear clients say they were going through a difficult time in their lives, where they had a lot on their minds and couldn’t get focused or feel connected during sex. At some point during this difficult time, they were unable to become or stay erect. The first thought in their mind was not, “Oh I’m just stressed. My mind is somewhere else. I need to listen to my body right now and get centered.” No, it was, “Oh no. Something is wrong with me. I am getting old. I have Erectile Dysfunction. I no longer have the sex drive that I use to….” and a number of other self-defeating thoughts that then begin to manifest within the body as a running program.
The mind-body connection is like a computer. Negative thought forms once repeated enough are like installing a new program into your hard drive which then starts running on automatic every time you boot up.
But what if I actually have ED?
It is really quite unlikely that you have a diagnosable case of ED unless you have unhealthy weight issues or other ailments that cause vasoconstriction, prohibiting blood flow to your sexual organs; in which case medication may be a plausible option. But in most cases, I would say in 90% of the clients I have worked with their ED is a result of the following mental, emotional, and spiritual issues:
7 MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, AND SPIRITUAL CAUSES OF ED
Mental
Performance Anxiety: You had one or two incidences where you couldn’t perform right away. Going forward this amplified your anxiety. With each new sexual experience, you were creating anxiety in the back of your mind with fears that you wouldn’t be able to get or stay hard. Your body heard this insecurity and became programmed to reflect your thoughts into physical form.
Negative Partner Influence: As a self-defense mechanism, for a partner to remove responsibility or blame, you have been belittled by a partner hearing, “Why can’t you get hard?” “What is wrong with you?”, etc.
Negative Self Influence: You have not learned self-love and have not built a connection with your body. Your subconscious thoughts imprint feelings into your body of shame, guilt, unworthiness, and of being unloveable. What you think then manifests as a physical sign to show you your reflection.
Emotional
Oxytocin Deficiency- You complain that they cannot partake in casual sex as you once did. You cannot get hard right away for just anybody like you use to. Or you cannot get hard with your partner as the distance between you has grown.
This may feel like a defect but in fact, it is the sign of a soul maturing to require what is truly needed for a connective sexual experience. It is a proven fact that as men age, they require different chemical components to create an erection. One of those is Oxytocin. Oxytocin is known as the bonding chemical and it is what is produced in breastmilk to bond mother and child. As men mature they require a deeper level of connection and bonding in order to become sexually aroused.
Emotional Stress: When the mind is going through a stressful time, it is no secret that the body will follow suit. You have been inundated with responsibilities at work. You are feeling stressed about finances. You have a wife, kids, and friends to juggle. You become stressed and overwhelmed playing out the many possible future outcomes that could be just over the horizon. And then, at the end of the day, you are expected to forget it all and perform on command, but your body says No!
Spiritual
Existential Exploration: You begin to question the very nature of your existence and how your sexuality plays into the picture as a whole. You begin to question the role of a man and how programmed masculinity has castrated the very nature of your humanity. You question what you have always been attracted to and wonder what it is that truly turns you on. You question what is right and wrong, what is good and evil. You begin to understand the shame and restrictions that religion has put on sexuality and you seek a higher connection with the self and with source.
Drive for Deeper Connection: In your spiritual pursuits, you begin to understand that sex is sacred and that the gift of the divine should be honored and revered. You no longer become aroused or attracted to more shallow forms of sexuality and find yourself wanting to pursue something deeper and with more substance.
You have been with partners that do not see you, who just want to “get it over with,” who do not encourage your divine masculinity, who are too busy within and never feel present when you are making love, and who do not make you feel loved and safe.
If any of these issues resonate with you, you can rest assured that absolutely nothing is wrong with you! Rather, I would like to encourage the notion that something is very right with you as you are able to pick up on the fact that the problem does not lie within you, but rather within a society that has brought shame and sin to an act of sacred beauty.
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
I would be more worried if you had no issues at all and could easily stud up for any pair of legs that walked into the room. But instead, your cock is a meter that shows how much you care and the capacity for love that lives within you.
I cannot tell you how many clients I have had that had without a shadow of a doubt labeled themselves as have Erectile Dysfunction. They thought they were broken, unlovable, and beyond the life of a sexual god. But after they were able to feel safe, they understood that there was no expectation, and they were able to feel what the energy of love really was, just like that, a cock that had not become hard in years, came into full attention.
So what can you do now?
7 MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, AND SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS TO ED
Validation: Sometimes for my clients, just hearing a knowledgeable source validate that nothing was wrong with them was all they needed. Being left in the shadows with only the negative voices in our heads and the influence of a sick society can be incredibly disheartening. But I am here to tell you that, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
You are growing, evolving, and maturing. The old programs must be removed to make room for the new. And the beautiful thing about humans, this life, and sexuality, in general, is that there is no ceiling. We have no absolute way of knowing the capacities of our ultimate potential. There are men that have become impotent and decided to stay that way in their 20’s and there are men who have fucked like gods well into their 90’s.
The body is a miracle and has the capacity to recover and heal from any circumstance. Nothing is permanent. Not even death. So with this validation know that you are exactly where you need to be, you are lovable and you can manifest truly connected ecstatic pleasure.
Removal of Negative Influencer: It can be very difficult to evolve as a sexual being if you are stuck in a relationship with a partner that only reinforces the negative programs running. If you are with a partner that disempowers you and emasculates you then you have these choices.
You can use this as fuel to test how powerful your inner voice can become by standing up for yourself and choosing never to give the power to another to put you down. You can work on your communication skills and lovingly encourage your partner to grow with you. Sometimes leading by example can bring the other partner on board. Or you can choose to leave this partner, feeling closure from this energy and ready to attract at a higher vibration.
Finding a Connected Partner: Many men feel confused and frustrated when they go on dates and cannot get hard when it is time to perform. But then they meet someone where sex is not about performance. In this woman’s presence, they feel comfortable to be themselves. They do not feel the pressure to perform or be something for this woman. It is their skin, their smell, the way they talk and walk—everything about them is like a pheromone induced aphrodisiac. Then when they go to have sex, their body responds in a way they have never felt before because it is no longer with the desire to get off or to impress, it is only with a desire to discover, to be closer, to become one. This is when we learn the difference between sex and making love.
As you evolve into a spiritually sexual being who can no longer partake in the primal acts of carnal gratification there may be a period of grief as you mourn the loss of your ability to have sex. But where there is a loss of sex, there becomes a gain of making love. This will come fewer and far between but it will satisfy you in ineffable ways that sex never could.
Communication: Sometimes communication can be your greatest key for liberation. I have had many clients that after talking about their fears, concerns and issues were able to release and miraculously their bodies followed suit. Once the baggage is lifted, once the fear can be given a voice, it loses its power. This is a great practice of bravery and removal of ego. Talk to your partner about what you are feeling and experiencing and you might be surprised how this form of trust and closeness can give your mind and body exactly what they needed.
Reprogramming: If you already have a stream of unconscious thoughts running in your brain bank it is important to do practices the remove and reprogram. Start with reprogramming affirmations such as my audio Erotic Affirmations for Sexual Potency. Once you have this new layer of thoughts you will need to become aware of when the old tape is playing and then through your own voice overlay the new affirmative statements until your brain rewires into a higher vibration.
The most important part of this practice is gaining the ability to separate your voice from the voice of the program. If you are still completely identified with the program you will need to continue with the reprogramming audios until there becomes a separation. Then when you hear the voice saying, “I am broken. I am no good. No one will want me. I can’t have sex. I can’t get hard. My cock is no good.” You remind yourself, “No! That is just the program.” And then repeat your affirmations, “I am a sexual god. I am worthy of love. In every moment I am good enough. My cock is amazing!”
This practice can take time but once mastered, you will be in complete control of what programs are running and how they will best serve you.
Connection Within: In many cases, there is often a disconnect with the body. You may see yourself and your cock as two separate entities. “I think one thing but my cock wants to do something else.” In this case, you may want to practice connecting with your body through meditation, massage, and self-pleasure rituals.
Talk to your body, feel it, ask it what it wants, ask it how it feels. In a way you are like strangers, so yes, you will feel like it is a separate entity. But as you grow your connection you will become friends, you will become lovers, and eventually, you will become one. You become one when you come into the understanding that everything is connected, all of your thoughts, actions, and environments. When this connection is understood everything begins to work cohesively and what you want your body wants, and what you desire manifests cohesively on all levels.
Study of Sacred Sexuality: When you can understand the true nature of sexuality, the magnificence of divine connection, and the responsibility of love, you will be able to achieve great levels of growth and healing. I highly recommend incorporating some kind of tantric or spiritual practice into your sexuality.
The heart is an energy center capable of feeling the greatest forms of pleasure and the most intense sensations of pain. In conjunction with your sexual energy, it must be used responsibly and with great care. The deeper you are able to connect with a higher source the greater you are able to comprehend this in order to clear karma rather than accumulate more.
To conclude, whichever circumstance you find yourself in, remember how much power you have. Remember how divine and sacred you are. Remember what a miracle your body is. Master the mind and then master your body. You are the essence of all source and within you lies unlimited potential. You are a sexual god! And now you have to tools to realize your god-like potential!
Now go shine your light and live your bliss. xo
